So I’ve done a few reviews, and tried to get you guys to see some of the movie’s I’ve recently seen. That’s all great, but what is my goal for all of this, all these reviews, all the jargon that spills from my mind onto the screen? What is my endgame? Originally I had intended this to be my liaison into the world of film critiquing. I still feel that is something I want to do in my life, share my passion with the world in the most uninhibited unsheltered way possible. I had wanted this blog to serve as a stepping stone towards a career writing for other online publications, newspapers in my school and everything else imaginable. I have re-evaluated my aim
I am not an expert, in any degree on film and what qualifies a good film. I am not in the film industry that I can leverage my reviews into things beyond them. The thing about reviewing films is that it separates you from the film experience. I do not want that to happen, I don’t want this to feel like a job. Instead of writing like the Eberts and Roepers of the world, I’d rather go about this in a completely different direction.
I am going to write about what I think about while watching a movie. As you go through a movie, things capture your attention. Paying attention to this phenomenon is an experience in itself. It almost feels like a form of meditation. Movie going is such an out of body experience. You basically are transported into a world not your own, and you see this universe through the lens of a digital camera, through the visions of a director and screenplay writer. You physically and metaphysically interact with actors, present and past, who have the ability to represent larger than life concepts though this wonderful medium. When you realize this, and truly understand what it is you are experiencing, and come back to yourself during this event, then you can truly define what it was you were thinking at that point. This is why it takes multiple viewings to gain more detailed descriptions of how you felt at particular points in films. The same reason why watching a movie is a break in your day is the reason why it can be the most thought-provoking exhilarating and mentally fatiguing trip of your day.
Its kind of like a drug. If you’ve ever had the experience of achieving that higher state of being, you’d understand that drugs (alcohol, marijuana, and many others) have the ability to put you outside yourself. Only until you are outside yourself can you look introspectively. Movies have the same power, or can in any case.
This phenomenon is what I will be trying to convey in my future posts. I have done bits a pieces of this through some of my recent posts, describing moments while watching a movie where I came back to myself, collected my thoughts, analysed where I was, and then immersed myself back in. It’s kind of like taking notes in a lecture, except you’re not writing down what the professor is saying, rather you are doodling and then looking back after the lecture to see what you ended up generating. Obviously, there are lectures where doodling results in nothing but gibberish and garbage, but those things have meaning as well, as do films that do very little to flow your creative juices.
There are movies that don’t allow you to follow this tactic for pseudo-reviewing. Certain films can be narrow and mundane, while others might not give you the time to collect your thoughts because of intense action and special effects that leave your mind desiring the 30 second break to re-gather itself. Those movies are difficult to review. But it takes practise to be able to balance the introspectiveness with the innate film going reaction of immersion. This is my goal, and I will try to represent this through all future posts.
What this means for me is that I am changing the form and function of the blog. Rather than it being purely about technical aspects of the film, which I am qualified to judge as a viewer, I may not have the skills to determine whether or not it is a masterpiece or an imitation. I simply haven’t schooled in it…yet. For those of you who don’t know, I am currently at a cross-road in my life. I am and have been balancing technical Engineering with less technical Social Sciences for a long time now. I am in transition mode as we speak. These next few months will be the defining months for the next few years. I am travelling to Ghana to work with Engineers Without Borders as a Junior Fellow, and will be volunteering in a district level government working with officials and other Engineers Without Borders Overseas staff in the development sector. It will allow me to evaluate what it is that I want to do in my life. In doing so, I feel, and have been feeling for a very long time, that I need to focus on my evaluation skills a lot more. Decisions are big, but the method of taking them is what is really important.
Instead of focusing on the technical side of film, I will instead by focussing on the side all of you have been a part of. I will try to explain what goes through my head when watching a movie, and will hopefully recreate some of the conversations you’ve had with yourself when watching movies as well. Let’s face it, some of our most intricate and intelligent conversations are with our minds, and exploring those ideas and elements allow you to better define what it was about something that makes it special for you. Movies are that for me. They provide a certain je ne sais quoi that transcends pretty much anything. It might have to do with the fact that a good film scene requires intelligent writing, amazing costumes, intricate music, intense acting all tied together by directors that are able to fuse themselves into the media. Films are the accumulation of an insane number of styles and mannerisms that manage to create a life out of an inorganic celluloid strip of pictures. This sensation is where fantasy, adventure, grandeur, romance, and mystery occur, and this is what I will talk about.